I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
