How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
