Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
