I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
