He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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