sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize