I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
