we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
