He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
