At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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