Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
