You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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