I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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