so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
