Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
