Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
