Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
