So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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