Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
