do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
