Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
