Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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