I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
