is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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