Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
