she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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