this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
