dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
