Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
