Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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