Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize