the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
