My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
