I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
