have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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