I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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