Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wear drunk well.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
