Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
