Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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