Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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