i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
