I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
