You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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