I should be sponsored by Trojan
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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