When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
