A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
