I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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