She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
