I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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