I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
