i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize