Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
