You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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