If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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