We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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