Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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