So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
