also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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