I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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