Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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