the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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