We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
they're like a gay fantastic four
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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