he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize