1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
